Probably

If you are probably a nerd, I’m guessing you are dateless to the next upcoming dance, I’m sure your fingers ache from the computer keyboard, your still trying at that xylophone, you watch preferably BLEACH, Trigun, Blood Plus, Naruto, and other things that make you feel like comedy is awesome, I’m sure that gum is always stored in your first and most important backpack pocket, Your unchewed and extremely old and refurnished pencils are stored carefully inside of a velvet pouch, where the unbendable paper lies beside it, that your teeth have been brushed three times, your legs have been shaved (male or female), and your ears have been cleaned twice each before you left the bathroom door. I’m sure your little/older sister/brother has already beaten you before that, and your mom/dad is still on the couch being interested in other things such as football, the newest thang, and their next upcoming trip for summer vacation. I’m sure your extremely huge great dane/extremely small chihuahua has bit you on your way out the door, and you remembered that you forgot your report for the entering to win for 500$ sweepstakes on your way to the bus. After you missed that huge yellow jerk on wheels, you have ran to the nearest and most sissiest bike with flowers all over it and streamers flailing in the wind, and have gone your journey into the worst day ever.

When you appear into class, you are late, and you have forgotten that this is St. Patrick’s Day. I’m guessing a several number of men and women (including teachers) have pinched you enough for you to have grown welts on your aching and weak body. When you arrive for lunch, your favorite pick of the day has ran out, the men have tried their best at shuffling themselves out on every table, and have left you alone to either choose your homeland table from geek land or the prissy cute girl table of mushy gushy sweetness. Of course, I’m guessing you charge for an empty seat at the girl table, only to find your face planted in your own lunch, especially that brown stuff that seems to somehow resemble mashed potatoes-or rice-with some strange brown liquid inside of it that also resembles whip cream.

I’m guessing when you arrive to the bathrooms, you see that guy outside the doors that you’ve had a crush on for at least five to six years. And of course, the only time he has ever seen you is when you get his attention to babble like an idiot or when your getting beat by one of his jock friends (mentally and physically). Of course, with your willpower or retardedness, you clean your face so quickly that it looks like you didn’t have one and charge to him, ready to either babble like an idiot, or say something stupid.

But before you even reach him, you see that freaky lesbian that has been hitting on you for years, and you have to duck and cover in one of the stalls. As you’re clinging for your life with your feet on the toilet, and your hands gripped to a metal bar above you, I’m sure she begins to kick through the doors with her extremely muscular thighs. And for your only luck of the day so far, a teacher catches her in the act, and sends her to the office, only to see your lock on the door stall jammed and broken. It was just in time, but not timed enough. I’m sure your only escape is to crawl to a stall next to you and open the door, or cry for help for hours before the prince on the white horse comes to rescue you. You choose number two on behalf of breaking another perfect nail that you have tried not to chew on for three months, and you begin to scream ‘help’ for hours. An hour later, the lunch lady is so fed up of the screaming, she opens the door for you. It was not jammed at all; it was only that you forgot your glasses this morning!

After cramming junk into your backpack and packing onto the bus, you realize no one is on except this random kid you’ve never seen in your life. You gasp, and hope you didn’t actually get on the wrong bus. So you jump to the driver, and ask the number. Of course, I’m sure the driver replies something like “# 3375-6.207″ and tells you to get back in your seat before the bus starts. Suddenly, in all that has happened, you feel the joy of watching that random kid begin to throw up simultanesly in front of you, and you hope that you do not join him in the dance of nausea.

When the driver throws you off at his last stop, it looks as if you had been dropped in the country of where the letter “A” has been celebrated in every sentence. And where hockey billboards are found in random locations such as ponds, mountains, volcanoes, you name it.

CANADA

And finally, in my last part of this excruciating story of the strange world of exaggeration, it looks as if you pass out in the middle of a forest and you have been found by a falconer before you are killed from the playing of a giant grizzly bear. You must have drunken that milk at lunch and remembered that you are lactos-antolerant.

Sorry!